It has been a while since my last post. Over the last two months I have been focused in a couple of other areas that God has been leading me in and has taken a lot of my time, but hopefully I’m back to a much more stable and organized, less hectic schedule and can start again with my blogging and podcasts with my great friends at Good Life Gifts.

About a coupe of weeks ago in the late evening The Lord gave me a very clear word about the kind of men He wants me to focus on and work with in one of my new ventures and I’ve got to tell you it really made me think. When I looked at the description of this man it really got me thinking about how I stacked up to it and when I read it I quickly realized that even though I’m not there yet I definitely ascribe to becoming this type of man. One who is strong and who doesn’t live by, or shape his life in, just anything that the wind blows up. Nope, this guy shapes and molds his life by one thing and one thing only…..what God says about him and what He wants him to become.

So here it is. My goals in life. To be this type of man and to encourage and equip as many as I can find to change their world for good as we find out on this journey that this is what God wants for us.

I’m looking for Men who:

Getting Back To The Mission,
Jim Moore
Author of the book The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood

I am the father of one son and two daughters. It’s easy to have an athletic activity with you son. They run like a guy..they throw a ball like a guy….they bike like a guy….they even spit like a guy! But it’s just a little bit different when you’re talking about your daughters.

My middle child who happens to be a 14 year old girl is really starting to focus on volleyball and getting into shape. Cool! I’m all into that, and she has really fallen in love with volleyball. So almost everyday she wants me to come outside and work with her on her digs, sets, serves, and spikes. And she’s really getting better each day. She has really never been too athletic and me being the typical sports nut dad that I am, I am encouraged to see her getting into some type of athletic competition.

After we played volleyball I told her I wanted to go mountain bike riding. Like I said in my previous blog I am really into mountain biking and there is a 5.5 mile course that’s literally 5 minutes from my front door so as often as I can I slip off, get the helmet and gloves on….jump on the bike ride as hard as I can.

This course that we live by is a pretty good ride. It’s around a lake and it scattered with enough hills and valleys that makes it just hard enough to push even the toughest of bikers and yet it’s scattered with enough flat parts that can let you catch your breath while you continue to peddle. In short, I love this course and when my son and I go we push the limits so we can get a great workout. Yep, I’m addicted to this sport…I love it….and it’s also my sanctuary where I have learned that in times of stress this is a place where I can go to unwind and think….and hopefully get my head screwed back on straight.

So yesterday when I told my oldest daughter that I was going mountain bike riding she jumped at the chance to go! So what do you say? Uh….no sweetie…..you’re not tough enough to keep up with dad…..you’ll surely slow me down….daddy won’t get a good workout….it’ll be a waste of my time to just go out and slowly make it up and down those hills? Surly she would understand? So I opened my mouth and said these words very clear so she would clearly hear them and understand….. “Hey, that sounds great….let’s go”!

What did I just say? Did I just cave? Yep…..and I’m sure glad I did. The course was just as tough, and there were many times she would have to get off the bike and walk it either up or down some pretty tough hills. The distance…..just as long and she really got tired. But the smile……..oh my gosh..her smile. I will never forget it. If I live to be a hundred, I’ll never forget her countenance! She beamed! She smiled! She sweat! She laughed! She had a great time. But the person who really had the best time had to be me. Was it a great cardio workout? No. Did I accomplish the physical exhaustion I was hoping? Nope…didn’t do that either. But here’s what I did accomplish. I got to see what it takes to get my daughter to have her countenance light up like a Christmas tree.

It took me making a sacrifice. It took me laying down my agenda and taking on hers. In Spiritual term…it took me dying to myself….to my wishes….to my desires…and allowing the needs and desires and wishes of my daughters to take precedence over mine so God could teach me something. And here’s what He taught me. He taught me that it’s a lot more important to see a priceless grin on my daughters face than to feel sweat from a great bike ride rolling down on mine. He taught me that daughters need dads just as much as sons do in order for them to have a well rounded view of men, and He taught me that it’s more profitable to die to my flesh and take her with me on an excursion that to work on my flesh by myself and neglect her.

So, I’m looking forward to the next time my daughter walks up to me and tells me she’d love to go biking. I’m going to grab my helmet…put my gloves on….jump on the bike and prepare to be blessed by The Heavenly Father because of the fun times we’ll have because of the blessings of being an earthly father.

Trying To Learn Galatians 2:20 Better….

Jim Moore
Author of the book The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood

Last week was a week of travel for me. I am rapidly preparing for the Championship Fathering Event scheduled for November 9th and 10th at Irving Bible Church in Irving Texas. I want to encourage every reader than can make it to the event to do so. The National Center for Fathering has put together a life changing event over a two day time period geared at encouraging and equipping fathers wherever they are in their fathering journey to be the best dad we all can be.

So Monday and Tuesday was in Kansas City for crunch time work and then Thursday and Friday was in Dallas where I got to speak at a pastor’s luncheon to lay the groundwork for the upcoming event.

One of the coolest things I got to do on Thursday and Friday was to take my son with me on the second leg of my travel. Now, my son and I are blessed to have a strong relationship. We really enjoy hanging out with each other. We love going to late movies and tanking up on popcorn and cherry coke. He loves the outdoors and could probably be one of those guys you drop on a deserted island and survive. About six months ago he got me totally addicted to mountain biking and ever since then we both enjoy hitting the trail together. We just like spending quality time together. Simply put, he’s my best buddy.

But here’s something I learned and I’m glad I did. Far too often in our society we have caved in to the idea that it’s not quantity time that counts but its quality time that truly matters. And if you just let that statement run past your ears fast enough it really might make sense but I have come to the realization that it’s both quality AND quantity time that matters.

We spent 13 hours in the car together over a two day period. That’s a lot in a relatively short time frame and we loved it. And because of the close quarters we found ourselves in we were given the opportunity to just talk. Not much radio…..no TV…just conversation. And it was during that time that we really connected on some important things in his a life and mine….and as guys we got to put together a plan for each of us that we can instill to accomplish what we need to do. We talked business, family, God, money, dating, friends……and it was really cool. We planned and dreamed about some things that are critically important to us and we laid out some plans in an organized matter that would make even the most detailed person quite proud!

But most of all we saw our relationship strengthened. Not because of some fancy fathering study or anything like that at all. It happened because we just talked and listened to each other. And also because I didn’t have my “boy I’m going to make you into a perfect teenager right here and right now because I do all the talking” t-shirt on. As a matter of fact (and this had to be a God idea because I’m not smart enough to come up with this one myself) I told him that whatever he wanted to talk about…we would….no agendas…just whatever was important to him. And you know what? We did! And we had a great time doing so.

So….here’s my lesson to you dad. It’s not just quality time….it’s got to be quantity as well and secondly, it’s not necessarily what’s on our mind but rather it’s what’s important to them. It’s what’s pressing on him….and when they figure out that our agenda is for the betterment of their agenda then it’s cool to see two lives becoming even closer as God teaches us how to listen to each more so we will love each other more.

Looking Forward to The Next Road Trip,

Jim Moore
Author of the book The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood

Good Life Gifts presents the Man of Standing Podcast hosted by Jim Moore, author of book The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood. Jim’s a nationally known expert and advocate on fathering. In episode, number 10 of the Man of Standing podcast, Jim talks about the importance of being connected to an involved father. Jim illustrates this point by talking about his father, who normally attended every one of Jim’s childhood and youth sporting events, but on the one occasion that he didn’t attend, Jim got injured and had a personal fowl called on him.

 Standard Podcast [19:39m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I’m the father of one boy and two girls and like a lot of dads I grew up playing sports. So, like most dads, I have tried to pass down to my kids the love for and the opportunity to participate in athletic competition.

Our oldest is now 17 and has been athletic all of his life and like my dad was for me I have been his coach on several of his teams. Over the years I have pushed, prodded, yelled, encouraged, and coached him passionately because I wanted him to excel and do his best. And he has consistently accepted my coaching and has grown and pushed himself to be a pretty good athlete.

But what happened last Saturday when I tried to use these same coaching tactics to our youngest daughter taught be a valuable lesson for my fathering skills and really made me laugh as well.

Our youngest child happens to be a young girl who for the most part has never particpated in competitive sports. Her new school she is now attending has a competitive soccer team. She likes to play sandlot soccer and really wanted to get on this competitive team. My wife and I had two strong concerns….first, she has never played soccer competitively and you probably already know that competitive teams are can really be just that and second concern is that there is only one other girl on the team. So our thoughts were….would she feel out of place or might she get discouraged if she wasn’t as good as the guys on the team. Well….to our enjoyment, neither of these has so far been an issue. She loves it….and she loves the competition associated with it.

But here’s where I learned my lesson. After the first quarter, they took their first break. This was the time that all the parents broke out their cash to buy their kid the ole Gatorade drink from the vending machine and we were no different. So when I took her the orange Gatorade bottle I thought this would be the perfect time to do my fatherly duty and coach her into greatness!! After all, just the mere prodding by a dad can send his child into stardom, right? So here was my chance….because it always worked for my son. I would tell him…”get in there”….”be aggressive” “stick your nose in the pile and take that ball away”….”be a champion”…”play hard”…..”Get aggressive”!!! And every time it was just like Superman changing into his clothes in a phone booth, my son would rally to attention and play even harder. So surely it would work for a little girl right?

Wrong. I gave her my speech….it might have been my best speech ever…..I encouraged. I coached. I taught. I was superdad and just the mere words flowing from my mouth would lead her to greatness. “Get aggressive” “Get aggressive”. “Be a champion” And hear was her response. Was it “yes sir dad” or maybe “awesome dad!” Nope…it was “do I have any orange Gatorade on my mouth?” What!! That was the sum total response from incredible coaching? Yep, because it came from the heart of a tender hearted little girl and then she followed up with these words…”And dad, you have taught me that girls aren’t supposed to be aggressive”!

Well, you could have floored me. I went back to my seat and told that to my wife and we both just about fell out of our seats n the stands with laughter….and here’s what I learned.

Each child is different. They are all unique. They are individually created by The Loving God who has a unique and individual plan foe every one of them. And so it is with parenting. One size doesn’t fit all. Yes, the Biblical principals and truths never change but our approach and technique might. The way we talk, encourage, equip, and even discipline might change from child to child. But know this…each child has a unique personality and it’ going to take fathers a little creativity and a lot of prayer to raise each the way it need to be done.

So dads take courage. There is a blueprint and a plan that will ensure success for each one and it’s found in the scriptures and it already been written, tested, and proven to work. And all it takes is for us to believe it and begin to implement it. So…today dad let’s begin to realize the unique nature of each child and begin to embrace the Word to see how we can best raise them for His glory and their good.

Looking At The Blueprints Again,

Jim Moore

Good Life Gifts presents the Man of Standing Podcast hosted by Jim Moore, author of book The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood. Jim’s a nationally known expert and advocate on fathering. In this episode, Jim talks about the importance of turning back to your family before its too late. In this episode, he relates the story of Harold Godfrey Lowe, a crew-member on the Titanic, to the tragedy of fathers leaving their kids behind.

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Today read Proverbs 18:21. And when you do, make sure you have your seat-belt securely fastened and your tray tables in the upright position because you’re about to land on a Spiritual truth that if we can understand and master then our life will change for the better…..and I believe in relatively short fashion.

God the Holy Spirit, through the human hand of Solomon, writes a verse that allows all mankind to find out how we can promote and proclaim life and death to those around us. And the weapon that we’ve been given isn’t some sophisticated, top secret device only known about by a few military troops. No sir, this one was given to all of us at birth and its undeniable power is honed and trained by no one other than ourselves.

It’s the tongue. The ultimate weapon of mass destruction and God, in His infinite wisdom designed it to be a most powerful tool that if used properly can move mountains, raise dead things to life, and do many other things that our minds can’t even comprehend. Oh, but if this weapon is forged by the wrong influences and without wisdom or discernment, this WMD can be used to tear down families, kill dreams, and snuff out destiny’s.

How are you using yours? God said that they contain the power of life and death! Did you just catch that? The power of life and death is not found in the hands of the enemy nor has it been given over to the schemes of this wicked worldly system. It is found squarely in your head and it’s the last thing that a word touches before it either spews out venom or flows out life. Which one do you have?

Think about how we talk to others around us. Are we a life giver or a life taker? Do we raise the dead or do we add to the masses? And do we promote love and healing where ever we go or are we like a bull in china closet carrying deadly dynamite? Which one are you? Which one am I?

May we today stop what we are doing and what we are saying just long enough to do some serious soul searching to determine if we are a contributor of life or are we a fountain of deadly toxic verbal sludge. And if by chance the Holy Spirit reveals to us that we have fallen prey to the arrows of the enemy and have become a fountain of verbal junk then let us all begin by having a repentant spirit and a change in our heart which will ultimately leads to words of life flowing into the hearts of our spouse, our children, and our home. And probably the first ones out of our mouths should be….”I’m sorry”. “Please forgive me!”

Checking Out My Vocabulary,

Jim Moore

Good Life Gifts presents the Man of Standing Podcast hosted by Jim Moore, author of book The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood. Jim’s a nationally known expert and advocate on fathering. In this episode, Jim talks about how bad engineering brought catastrophic results for the Titanic, and how bad engineering of a father’s time and priorities can be devastating to his family.

 Standard Podcast [18:23m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Over the past few weeks we’ve talked some about faith….you know it’s that thing that God calls the substance of things hoped for and he evidence of things not yet seen. Look at that last statement again. The evidence of things not yet seen. As just a friendly reminder, there is a huge difference between things said and things seen. What God says we possess and must come to pass sometimes looks impossible when all we are doing is looking at the situation and not keeping our spiritual eyes focused on what He said must happen. There is a major difference between faith and sight, between what is said from what us seen.

Such was the case when God Almighty called a little, insignificant person named Nehemiah to lead and complete such a monumental task….like rebuilding the torn down, war savaged wall of Jerusalem! This cup-bearer of the king was given a God-sized burden to lead a discouraged and down trodden people to rebuild a wall and essentially their lives and destiny.

Read the first six chapters of the book of Nehemiah and let God speak to you about what he wants you to rebuild. Read how even n the midst of turmoil, lies, intimidation, and fatigue they all worked together to accomplish such a supernatural task that throughout history the accomplishment of such and impossible vision can only be called a “God-Thing!”

Could it be that The Almighty is calling you to Rebuild the Wall for your family? But you say….no way….it can’t be done…..you don’t know my situation. You’re right….I don’t and I’m certainly not trying to be trite in the midst of possibly a large amount of destruction that has already come. But rebuild you can….that is only with the help of a loving mighty God!

So today, take a look again at the true account of Nehemiah and ask the One who called this simple man several thousand years ago to lead a discouraged people to complete a seemingly impossible task and listen and watch as God empowered them to not only complete it but do it in an unbelievable short amount to time….52 days!

Let me ask all of us one question. What would we like to see our life look like in 52 days? Regardless of where we are…52 days from now could be the start of something incredible fresh and whole. 52 days of work…..52 days of real prayer….52 days of petitioning God like maybe never before. 52 days!! Can you envision what it could be?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t lean on what it looks like, but in all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight. 52 days!

Marking Off My Calendar,

Jim Moore
Author of The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood.

This past Holiday weekend I was channel surfing when I came across a nationally
known talk show and the special guest was Stephen Covey. As many of you probably
know, Mr. Covey is the highly respected author of many books, but his flagship
writing in my opinion has to be “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”

My wife and I sat down to hear him since his topic was on creating and maintaining
a successful family and we both found this time as incredibly valuable. In
just a few short minutes we heard many nuggets of love and truth that anyone
can incorporate into their families, and as profound as they are, they are
still simple and timeless.

So without trying to recreate the wheel and without trying to muddy the waters
of what was said, here are a few of the highlights from the show. And as fathers
and leaders of our homes, it is my prayer that all of us will begin today to
build these into our families regardless of the present circumstances. Here
they are:

• Sit down with your kids and discuss your lives and your priorities and
  determine how you are going to survive and thrive….let them talk about it
  also
• Create a mission statement for your family and live by it
• Make family dinner time a priority
• Have a family date
• Make sure we teach our children that they don’t have to be involved in
  everything….plus it is more important to be with their brothers and sisters
  than any friend activity. In other words our children’s best friends should
  be their siblings..(That one goes against the grain of today’s society but
  I can see how it should work!)
• Just let kids be kids
• Teach decision making skills to our children
• Teach them to make smart choices pertaining to:
  • School
  • Friends
  • Parents
  • Dating
  • Addiction
  • Self esteem
• Never let your kid say “If only I had known different”
• Don’t outsource parenting…WOW!!
• Develop a STRONG relationship with each child,,..seek first to understand
  and then secondly to be understood
• Live a life of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE towards them
• Get a talking stick….only the person holding the stick can talk…in other
  words…no interruptions while someone else is sharing their heart
• Learn to quickly apologize and start again
• When you blow it you admit it
• Put together a Family Mission Statement:
  Ask what are our values?
  What kind of home do we want to have?

These are timeless truths and even I as read them and relive the show
over in my mind I can clearly see how I have missed it in the past so hopefully
I can quickly learn them now so I don’t
blow it again in the future.

Headed Back Into The Classroom,

Jim Moore

Author of The Eyes of the Ship, Navigating the Waters of Fatherhood.